By Rebecca Ploch Porter
It was an emotional day standing there before hundreds driving by. There were lots of honks of support, but some ugly screams out of people's car windows and only three middle 'bird' fingers (that I saw, that is). I was reminded of the first time I ever held my sign; seeing the shock that is on some people’s faces...the sadness also of some...and even anger from others. Why would a woman do this, you might be thinking.... For me, there are several reasons. I want people to know that abortion is NEVER the answer. That it is a lifelong decision that you can never go back and make right. Abortion is forever. You can always change your life and your circumstances; maybe you are an alcoholic...you can get sober. Maybe you are a drug addict...you can get 'clean'. Maybe you aren't a good parent...you can try to become the best ever.......But when you abort your child....it is the only thing you can NEVER change. You can be forgiven and you can forgive yourself and others involved...but you can never bring that child back.
I had been to the Lakeland Women’s Health Clinic before as a young 20-year-old woman all alone who couldn’t even remember when I’d had my last period....the sign out front had said "Free pregnancy test” so I thought a medical center could help me…I’d had two home pregnancy tests that were negative and my husband Mike had been disappointed. When he died and I still hadn’t started my period. I thought it was because of the pain of losing him. I went to the ‘clinic’ and was told I was pregnant and already 16 weeks along after paying for a pelvic exam. I started to cry when the Dr. told me. I was so happy, but sad because I wouldn't ever be able to share this with Mike. The ‘Dr’ saw that I was upset and said “Well Mrs. Streetman, we don’t usually do the procedure this far along, but since I see that you are so upset, we can make an exception and take care of ‘your problem’ for you”. I was shocked! I was in an abortion clinic and didn’t know it, and this was no ‘Dr’ but an abortionist, offering to end my pregnancy. I immediately left after telling him I was not happy with his offer and how happy I was to be pregnant. I found a real Dr. and my first ultrasound was at 18 weeks, a beautiful, fully formed baby boy.
When my son was less than a year old, I became pregnant again. I was ashamed and unmarried, but I knew where to go to “take care of my problem.” They said it was just a blob of tissue. I was only 8 weeks along and had never seen a baby at that stage of pregnancy, so I believed them. No ultrasound was done or even offered. It would have shown my baby's heart beating, it's formed body, it's little fingers and toes...They also said it wouldn’t hurt and would be over quickly….and I’d never have to think of it again….What a LIE!!! After the abortion, I started using drugs even worse and drinking more…I began to live in the bars…I was a terrible mom to my son….It broke our bond…I couldn’t stand to be around babies…it was a reminder of what I had done. It was a lie when they told me “I could go on with my life..and never think about it again”
When I did get pregnant with Ricky six years later, I worried the whole pregnancy that he would be deformed, etc…something would be wrong….that God would pay me back for the abortion. I know now that God would never do that, and I’m thankful that Ricky was perfect. But I was still not a very good mom and I went back to drugs after he was about a year old and his father and I divorced.
It was years of drug abuse, alcoholism, abusive relationships, three miscarriages, and two more abortions. The second one was in Tampa. After the procedure they encouraged me to take a Depo-Provera shot since I had gotten pregnant on the pill each time (birth control is not the answer) They guaranteed me that I could not get pregnant while taking the shots, so I agreed…..well, lies again…about 6 months later I was pregnant and in shock…How could this be..They said it couldn’t happen….I was so angry…but also upset because I had already had two…and I just couldn’t have another abortion. But I felt that there was still no way to have that baby…I was too old (mid thirties) and definitely didn’t want to start over again. I decided I would place the baby for adoption. I wanted to give my baby life. I had a sister in Texas that I would ask to go stay with, and no one would even have to know. (I do have to say that none of the father's wanted me to abort. It was my choice, but it also hurt them very bad also). The baby’s father didn’t want me to abort again, but he also said he wouldn’t allow our child to be given away…he refused to sign the papers. I felt defeated…and in my twisted thinking returned to the abortion clinic in Lakeland. I was crying when I walked in the door and cried during the whole procedure….and especially when the nurse looked down at what the abortionist was doing and said, “Oh look,…..twins” and then she looked up and smiled at me. I must have went into shock, because everything was in slow motion and I began to scream “STOP, STOP” and I remember saying “Oh my God, what have I done” and I started to try to get off the table even while the vacuum was still inside of me. They had to call others in the room to hold me down while they finished…….
The abortionist came into the recovery room later and said he would “speak to the nurse about her behavior”…..she wasn’t supposed to tell me the truth…….I walked out of there that day like a zombie, wishing I was dead….I had been off drugs for two years, but went and bought drugs that night……I tried to overdose twice within the next three months…but that’s when the Lord saved me and totally changed my life. That was 17 years ago.
So I also stand for some of you reading this that may have also made the wrong choice. Women and men. If you need to talk or need prayer, please contact me. I want to be here for you and everything will be kept confidential. Sometimes just telling the truth to someone begins the process of healing and releasing pain. You can also go to Operation Outcry for help and to share your story to make a difference by filling out a Declaration. And maybe one day, you may stand with me.
I'm also thankful for my husband Wally, who allows me to share publicly and who stands with me in remembrance of his son lost by abortion.
My prayer is that one day abortion will be illegal in our nation as it was for 197 years before Roe v. Wade and that children in the womb will be protected by our government and it's people once again.
So until then, I will continue to pray for Justice for the unborn. I will stand to change the hearts and minds of our nation and to save lives of the innocent. I will continue to share my testimony. I will continue to hold my sign in public even though it is not an easy thing to do. And I will obey my calling from the Lord and Stand4LIFE.
1 comments:
So thankful to Rebecca for sharing her testimony and all the work she has and continues to do for Life. Also thankful to Resound Missions Base, www.resound247.com, in Orlando for obeying the Lord as they worked hard to start Stand4Life May 1, 2010; a year later many states stood together on May 7, 2011 for Life! If others want to join, they can contact Resound as Stand4Life/Bound4Life join hands with the multitudes nationally and internationally. Thanks, Monte.
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