Why I Am Pro-Life - Jamie Ashton's Incredible Story

Most of you who know me may be aware by now that I spend some time sidewalk counseling in front of some of our local abortion clinics. I know that the perception is that those of us that do such are radical protesters. My heart sinks every time people who step out in faith and offer help and love to women seeking abortions are labeled as protesters. The term "protester" could not be further from the truth.

Those of you who have known me for a long time also know how shy and introverted I am. So how did I go from a shy girl too nervous to talk to anyone about anything slightly ‘controversial’ to boldly standing for the truth and talking to every stranger I can about the harms of abortion?

Here is the Short Answer:

 God is the Creator of life.

"Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, And He who formed you from the womb: ‘I am the LORD, who makes all things…’" (Isaiah 44:24).

He commands us not to murder.

“Then God spoke all these words:…'You shall not murder'" (Exodus 20:1, 13).

He calls us to ACTION and commands us to intervene on behalf of others.

 “Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." (Proverbs 31:8-10)

“Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death. Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.” (Proverbs 24:11-12 NLT)

Here is the Long Answer:

Right v. Wrong

I was pro-life long before I was a Christian. Despite the arguments about when life begins or assigning “personhood” at a certain stage of life, I knew the scientific fact was that life begins at conception. Ending that life then was murder. Simple really. Even though I was scared to, I remember doing a pro-life project in a social studies class my freshman year of high school. Although not a Christian and most certainly leading a very sinful life, I sensed a deep need to bring the truth of the humanity of the unborn to my generation who was being taught that it was all about ‘choice.’ The ‘choice’ argument is so catchy because it serves ‘self.’ It is easy to explain or excuse away what is wrong in order to fulfill our desire to serve ourselves. Believe me, I know. I have a lifetime of self-serving sin.

I am pro-life because abortion is wrong.

Plan B

Speaking of being sinful and ‘choice’, I became sexually active at an early age. Not something I like to now share, but it’s important to. I share this because it has helped me empathize with the lost women seeking abortions. In fact I was one of them. I had unprotected sex and in a state of fear and regret went to Planned Parenthood and took the “Plan B” morning after pill, not once but twice. At the time I did not know that it could cause abortions but that is no excuse. I should have looked into it. I trusted the staff at Planned Parenthood and the marketing that it “prevented pregnancy” and if I am honest I ‘chose’ to be ignorant about it because I did not want to know the truth. I received “counseling” from Planned Parenthood like I am sure other women receive. How in the world did I ever trust “counseling” coming from the people who stand to benefit financial from my decision? The “Plan B” pill does in fact prevent pregnancy but if an egg is fertilized the chemicals in the pill breakdown the lining of the uterus therefore starving the tiny human life of oxygen and nutrients and thus killing it.

I have since asked for and received God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ. But as any woman who has had an abortion will tell you, no matter how hard you try, you never forget. The gut-wrenching heartache never leaves your memory. I have no way, this side of heaven, of knowing if I prevented pregnancy or actually killed two babies, but either way what I did was very wrong. There is no good that can come from killing a baby but I can use my experience now to relate to the women seeking abortions. It keeps me from becoming judgmental.

I am pro-life because I know regret.

Miscarriage

I had suffered my whole life with severe depression. After Tyler and I married it became much worse. We talked about starting a family and it took no time at all for me to become pregnant. I was over the moon excited and naively thought it would “cure” my depression. I remember reading a journal my mom bought me that showed and described the baby’s development. I would tract every week how our baby was growing. I was so excited to go for our ultrasound and laid there with great anticipation of seeing our baby. I will never forget the words the doctor spoke, “I am not seeing what I should be seeing.” She did not see a heart beat and sent us to an imaging clinic just to make sure, but I knew the baby was gone. I cannot tell you the emotion spiral I went into.

It was about this time I was really coming to the realization that I potentially previously killed two of my babies and now this one was gone. I was the mother of one, possibly three dead babies. It was more then I could handle. I started planning my suicide. The only thing keeping me from doing it was not wanting to hurt my family. As a last resort I started attending my parent’s church. I gave my life to Christ and have not been depressed one day since. I am not saying I have not suffered since, but now I turn to God during suffering, not the thought of suicide. A miscarriage is no different then losing a born child, the deep sadness of loss is the same. It is the same because a child is a child whether it is a fetus, infant, toddler, adolescent, or teen. It was the loss of our first child that solidified my knowledge of the humanity of the unborn child.

I am pro-life because I know life begins in the womb.

An 8-Week-Old Baby

I had always wanted to adopt and after the loss of our baby I never wanted to try for another one again. Tyler however wanted to try again. Out of respect for God’s word and my husband I agreed and again it took no time at all to get pregnant. I was cautiously excited. Being a new Christian, I honestly was living a new life. I was truly happy for the first time, not because of my circumstances but because I had the Holy Spirit in me. About 10 weeks into my pregnancy, I started to feel…well, weird. I just felt like something was not right so I went to my doctor. One look at her face during the ultrasound is all the confirmation I needed. Honestly I was frozen with grief. She offered a D&C but it sounded too much like an abortion so I decide to go home and miscarry in God’s timing. This time I saw my baby. I remember holding my precious perfectly formed 8-week-old baby in my hands and desperately wanting the sweet thing to be alive. Pictures of horrifically aborted 8-week-old babies flashed through my mind. Here I was longing for my baby to live while somewhere an abortionist was killing a baby just like mine. The grief was overwhelming and our faith was put to the test for the first time. It is actually still very hard for me to get through writing all this.

It was at that time that I finally realized that for women who abort, when the truth finally catches up to them (and it will eventually), they will morn the loss of their baby just like I was. Only they would most likely suffer in silence where as I could share my loss among a loving church family. I also finally realized that the loss of every unborn baby is a tragedy whether they were intended or unplanned. Life truly is precious.

I am pro-life because I have held an 8-week-old fetus.

Ethan

Jamie and Ethan

Tyler wanted to try again. Was he crazy? I thought there was no way I could survive another loss. I respected my husband’s opinion so we tried again. Pregnant again and really on pins and needles, I was again cautiously excited. Four, six, eight, ten weeks all passed and the baby’s heart was still beating. At 10 weeks I began to bleed and rushed to the doctor believing that it was happening again. I cannot wrap my mind around the mass amounts of prayers that were said for us. I was already crying when she started the ultrasound. I was scared to look, but when I did I said, “Is that the heart beat?” Amazing!

I will never forget holding Ethan for the first time and the pure joy I felt. All moms, whether adoptive or natural, know the feeling of holding your child for the first time. I am saddened that women who abort will never know that of their aborted child. I am sad that the aborted child will never know what it feels like to be loved and held.

As we spent weeks and month attending to our boy’s needs I finally realized just how completely dependent these babies are on others. It was then I began felling the deep loss for the 50 million babies killed by abortion since 1973 in this country. I realized that unborn babies are not only dependent on their mothers but really they depend on a society that respects life, loves them, and will speak for them when they can’t. I knew I had a responsibility to speak for the needy and oppressed.

I am pro-life because babies depend on it.

What Does God Say?

It was in Ethan’s first six months that I began to really dig into my bible and see what God had to say about abortion. Here is what I learned:

God is the Creator of life:

"Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, and He who formed you from the womb: ‘ I am the LORD, who makes all things…’" (Isaiah 44:24)



Jamie and son Kai

  “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb, I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret…Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

He commands us not to murder:

“Then God spoke all these words:…'You shall not murder'" (Exodus 20:1, 13).

“Do not put an innocent or honest person to death, for I will not acquit the guilty.” (Exodus 23:7)

He calls us to action and commands us to intervene on behalf of others:


“Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.” (Proverbs 31:8-10)

“Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death. Don’t excuse yourself by saying, ‘Look, we didn’t know.’ For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.” (Proverbs 24:11-12 NLT)

“And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’” (Matthew 25:40)

We can’t affect souls or the culture sitting at home. We are told to be active and fruitful Christians:


“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.” (Matthew 5:14-15)

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” (James 1:22)

“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1John 3:18)

I am pro-life because God is.

Fear

I knew what I had to do. I had to reach out and offer help, hope, and love to women who were in the same situation I once was in. I had to try to be the last line of defense for the precious children who were “unjustly sentenced to die.” I knew the Lord was calling me to go out to the abortion facilities but I was absolutely terrified to go out there. I was plagued by the fear of the unknown, fear of disappointment, and fear of looking foolish.

I was fearful because of what was at stake. I was going to be confronting abortion in its turf, disrupting the easy flow of evil. I was going to be bringing light to a dark place. I was going to be pricking consciences and creating constructive tension. But, I (through the Holy Spirit) was going from rhetoric to where it actually happens, where death is bought and sold every day.

What would the world look like if the Apostles just stayed home? What would the world look like if there were no missionaries? I learned that I must overcome fear because of what’s at stake. Women were being led to spiritual death and babies were being led to physical death every day where I live. I could not sit by and try to ignore it one more day.

I am pro-life because of what’s at stake.

Sidewalk Counseling

I knew that spiritual battles happened, but it was never more apparent to me then when I first stood in front of an abortion facility. I could no longer ignore the reality of abortion as I watched women walk in with babies that were very much alive, knew that just yards from where I stood that baby was being very brutally ripped apart and killed, and watched the women walk out with her head held in shame.

I witnessed a mother who followed her daughter to the clinic begging her not to have the abortion. She knew that her daughter would regret the decision and was trying to spare her that pain. Unfortunately she had to stand by as her grandchild was killed. I have witnessed abusive men pushing women to abort. I witnessed a father bring his teenage daughter for an abortion accompanied by her 8-year-old sister who should not be exposed to that. In my own city is one of the few abortionists willing to take the life of a baby up to the day of birth. I have watched countless second and third trimester pregnant women walk into his clinic. Stand out there long enough and you will think you have seen it all.

However, in God’s grace, I have also seen women choose life. I was with a veteran sidewalk counselor when a women pulled up, got out of her car and told him her child was alive because of him (we all know it was truly because God worked through him). She then showed him a picture of her teenage child! Some 15 years after he talked to this woman he found out that she had actually chosen life. I have seen lost, confused, and hurting women find the help they desperately need through pro-life missionaries and pregnancy centers. I have seen women receive help with parenting classes, housing, transportation, employment, food, clothing, baby items, spiritual help, and so much more.

I am pro-life because I have been on the front lines.

Red Barrel Day

The hardest day I faced outside Planned Parenthood was what we call “red barrel day”. A truck pulled up and unloaded some empty red barrels. Already sensing the answer with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I asked another sidewalk counselor what that was. As the full red barrels came out I got my answer. They were full of dead baby parts. Never before had I thought about what happens to the babies after the abortion. Do we really live in a world where babies are killed and their little arms and legs and bodies are carelessly thrown away like trash? I wonder how can we as people with the capacity, resources, and means to care for these children watch as millions of our brothers and sisters die. There are days I wonder if I can hold it together at all.

I am pro-life because of what I have seen.

Spiritual Growth

When I wake up in the morning the last thing I want to do is go somewhere that is mentally and emotionally wrenching and where some will hate me, but I would never trade the spiritual growth I have experienced. Never before have I had to so completely depend on and put my trust in God. I had to believe that He would protect me, I had to believe that He would provide the words to speak to the men and women walking in, I had to believe that the babies would instantly be in His kingdom surrounded by the love they never received here on earth. I had to believe that “all things work together for good to those who love God” and that “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you…Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven.”

I learned very quickly that I don’t go alone; the Lord goes with me and ahead of me. 2 Timothy 1:7 has been a constant companion to me out there, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” To a wimpy introvert like me having God’s power strengthens me. Knowing that God has given me the ability to truly love someone has made it easy to reach out to those who are lost. And to a formerly depressed person a sound mind is a welcome thing! There is nothing to fear when we are doing the Lord’s work. Ephesians 6 tells me that we are fighting a spiritual battle so we put on the armor of God and fight with spiritual weapons – prayer, fasting, and witness.

I am pro-life because I believe in God’s word.

So Why Am I Pro-Life?

Because I cannot ignore what I have learned.

Behind all the noise about politics, ‘women’s rights’, and ‘choice’, every single abortion results in the DEATH OF A HUMAN BEING. A human being who is created in the image of God.

Not only does abortion result in the death of a baby, but also every abortion results in HARM TO A WOMAN. The truth is abortion is not safe; it carries physical and emotional risks. Not only that but spiritually she is setting herself up for a lifetime of regret and/or left unrepentant ultimately she will spend eternity separated from God.

How will she know any different if I, as an ambassador of Christ (2 Corinth 5), do not bring the message of love and hope to her?

Most of all, as life hangs in the balance for thousands of babies, I know I will never regret standing at what could be the darkest place on earth with God’s faithful servants as we, like Isaiah, say “Here am I Lord, send me.”

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”  - Elie Wiesel, Holocaust Survivor.