February 28, 2009

The Personal Toll Of Abortion



The following stories are from Rachel's Vineyard Ministries, www.rachelsvineyard.org. They hold weekend retreats in several locations in the United States and other countries for any woman or man who has struggled with the emotional and spiritual pain of an abortion.

This abortion has affected me by making me feel so much less about myself. It has made me feel I don't deserve to live. I have hurt myself, by burning, cutting or any other type of self-mutilation so I can feel alive. I have been so numb. I want to live a normal life and I want my daughter to be able to grow up without me being a constant shield over her. I feel she may be taken from me for what I have done and that I must protect her. I want a happy normal life for her and for myself. -- Lisa

My abortion has left me with a feeling of emptiness. I feel as though I am not as good as everyone else because of what I did. I went against everything I believed in because I lacked courage. I am angry at him, at my friends, and especially at myself. This Christmas, my baby would have been born. I can't stop thinking about it. I just keep picturing my baby. -- Marguerite

The abortion that I have had has caused me to shut out all emotional contact with both men and women. I am so afraid of opening myself up to a relationship for fear of getting hurt. I feel like I have done the worst kind of evil in this world -- murder -- and to think that I did not even know then that it was murder. I knew but I didn't feel. How could I have been so unaware, uncaring, insensitive, stupid? -- Patricia

My abortion has left me with a empty place in my heart and life. My family feels somewhat incomplete, when we are all home together, I get the sense that someone is so definitely missing. I have felt a great deal of sorrow and regret over the effect this has had on all of us. As a mother, I struggle with the reality that I destroyed my child. -- Teresa

My wife and I had an abortion before we were married. We tried to put it behind us, out of our minds. But everything changed. My wife grew distant from me physically and emotionally. It felt like we were going through the motions. There was this unspoken chasm between us that we just couldn't cross. I felt angry, alone and when she would bring it up, I felt so ashamed and threatened by her and my own pain that I just shut her down. This only made things worse. -- John

My abortion has left me empty, alone and in despair. It has taken me to a place I almost couldn't come back from. The self-hatred I see every time I look in the mirror has been my constant companion for the last ten years. -- Lori

I now realize that the abortion made me lose a part of myself that I never knew was there -- a trusting and loving person towards others and myself. It built up a wall towards those who were involved. I have seen a side of them that was more selfish than anything. My experience took a part of myself that I lost for years. -- Susan

One thing that my abortion has done to me is to cause or encourage an eating disorder. I know my abortion has caused much self-hatred that was expressed in my eating disorder and many other problems. -- Anonymous

It was the summer I turned 15--not even in high school yet. The guy was older and "bad news". I was scared. My mother said I couldn't have the baby. I didn't know what I wanted except that I wanted it to be over, one way or the other. Now, 25 years later and after the birth of my first child at the age of 40, the realization of what I had done back then is almost incomprehensible. All these years I never gave it much of a thought, as though it didn't even happen, and it was the "right" thing to do. Now I am filled with regret, loss and guilt. Every time I look at my beautiful son, I am reminded of the baby that never had a chance. I feel I don't deserve any relief from my guilt and pain, it is my punishment for taking a life, the life of MY OWN child. I realize I am now looking at it with the eyes of an adult and not a teen. Who knows how it would have turned out. But, that is the point...it could have turned out just fine. I will never know. -- Julie

February 22, 2009

Devaluing The Unborn Baby

If your car starts to break down, do you start it on fire so it will be no use to anybody?

If your house starts to fall in disarray, do you use a bulldozer and totally destroy it?

If your family member is diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, Lou Gehrig's disease, or terminal cancer, do you make the choice of killing them so they won't have to go through such an ordeal?

If you discover your spouse is having an affair, do you kill him or her, because of how your life will negatively change in the near future?

If your boss embezzles a huge sum from your place of employment that causes your office to close, do you kill the boss, because this will negatively impact your career?

Do you burn down the administration building at your college when they drop your field of study from the curriculum?

If you don't like your car or house, you can basically put them up for adoption, so to speak, by letting someone else have it. If you have problems with your marriage, work, or school, you find a way to get through the problem without physically harming another. After the initial shock of one of these life-changing events, most will attempt to make the best of an undesirable situation.

But our society allows and often promotes the killing of the unborn baby because, if born, this baby will negatively impact somebody's lifestyle. When it comes to making the best of an undesirable situation of a pregnancy, 4,000 people in the Unites States decide daily to kill the baby. It doesn't make any sense unless one puts more value in a car, house, job, or school than they do a fellow human being. This view isn't solely owned by the pregnant woman. The boyfriend, the woman's parents, and her friends often have a similar view and pressure the woman to devalue the baby inside her and have an abortion.

In a way, our society is to blame. If most in our country really decided and acted upon the fact that an unborn baby had more value than an inanimate object or undesirable lifestyle change, then there would be such a tremendous outrage about abortion. The value of a fellow human being would then be positioned at its rightful place of on top of the list. The response of putting a life first must be automatic, and one would think it would be. Unfortunately, the pro-abortion faction of our society has won this part of the debate so far. Instead of putting one's fellow human being first, most have been conditioned to think about the circumstances surrounding the lifestyle change that could occur. The value of this human then drops on the list of important factors involved with the decision to abort. Even when the unborn baby human is considered, it often is followed by "yes, but ..."

The pro-life view needs to be the automatic response when someone is pregnant. No matter what the circumstances, the response should be that we will do whatever we can for this fellow human being to live, period. Once the impact of this lifestyle change has hit, everything should be done to make the best of it, just as if there were any other life-changing event.

February 15, 2009

A Conversation About Abortion

A sample pro-life/pro-abortion discussion:

PL - What do you think of abortion?
PA - I am pro-choice.
PL - What are you choosing?
PA - The mother gets to choose whether or not to have an abortion.
PL - What is an abortion?
PA - You're being ridiculous! It's terminating the pregnancy.
PL - What are you terminating?

PA - You are trying to trick me. It's a fetus, just a bunch of cells. You know, it's not a baby, if that's what you're trying to get me to say.
PL - It has its own distinctive DNA separate from the mother and father. It's just a human at a different level of development. Since you said that it's not a baby, then can you tell me what it is?
PA - Whatever it is, the mother has a right to choose not have it in her.
PL - Should she be allowed to kill a two-year-old child?
PA - Of course, not. It's already born.
PL - So it comes down to the fact that you think the unborn baby should be killed because it's in a different location or because it's not human at all.
PA - If it can live outside the womb, it should not be killed.
PL - You are saying that there is a human inside the mother. At what point is it not a human inside the mother.
PA - OK. Let's say in the first three months.
PL - OK. We're narrowing it down. In the first three months it has a brain, a heart, and the foundation for all other anatomical systems. It even has eyelids and fingernails.
PA - Let's say it has features that other humans have. The woman still has her rights.
PL - Let me get this straight. The woman has a right to destroy this human. But this human will never enjoy one right. Even half of these unborn humans are female, so are you for female rights or not?
PA - She is already a woman. Even if you say this thing is a human, it's so small and can't function on its own.
PL - A newborn would die in a few days if there wasn't an adult there to give it nutrition and a proper environment to live - in fact, the same two things that an unborn needs. It would be a crime not to give this baby nourishment, so it's all about location. Also, does size of a person really matter? You and I are much smaller than NFL linemen. Are they more valuable as humans than we are?
PA - That's also ridiculous. They are already born. I know you're going to say that it doesn't matter where one is located.
PL - Right. We're agreeing on quite a lot here.
PA- It's just a religious issue, and that's up to each person.
PL - I never mentioned any religion. An atheist could actually think that abortion is wrong. Do you think it's a moral issue - one of definite right and wrong?
PA - There are many shades of gray. The mother may have school, work, or what if she's really poor?
PL - I know it may be difficult on her, but it doesn't change the fact that a baby is being killed.
PA - I wish you didn't say that a baby is being killed.
PL - If I said that the pregnancy was terminated, would that change the result of the death of a human. By the way, that woman would not be allowed to kill her born child if they live in poverty, because -
PA - - because it's in a different location, and the killing of a child is always wrong, is what you're going to say.
PL - Yes. I think we agree on more than we initially thought.
PA - I have to run. Thanks for the calm discussion.

February 6, 2009

The Main Pro-Life Defense - Location, Location, Location

Several reasons are given when someone is promoting abortion: It doesn't look like a baby. It's a blob of tissue. It will be born in poverty. It's disabled. It's unwanted. It will be a crack baby. It will interfere with school or work. The mother is too young. It's in the mother's body, so she can do what she wants with it.

When the issue is being discussed with an abortion proponent, a simple rebuttal can be made for most of their arguments. They should be asked if they are for the killing of a baby outside the womb because it's born in poverty, unwanted, addicted to drugs, etc. Of course, they will say that is different, because the baby is already born. Obviously, they just answered the main pro-life argument for not aborting the baby.